i suspect i spent some time absorbing this album. that can be the only circumstance that explains why the songs are so clear in my mind. few of them are unfamiliar after about seven years of not having listened to it. why?
it’s likely that, as a kind of gift to me from a boy whom i wished back to my side, i attached to it as a kind of aurally physical manifestation of him. it made him somehow real to me still/again. when i finally looked at pictures, it made me wonder whether he liked the band because the lead singer reminded him of himself… because he reminds me of him. and they were from canberra.
it has to be a kind of attribution to the quality of the music as well though. crap songs wouldn’t have stuck, no matter what meaning of my own i imbued on them. the content was perhaps a subliminal or maybe even deliberate attempt by him to signal his intent – so many of the songs are about love having stopped or never existed. and in hindsight – the best judgement i ever have – it was probably a pretty negative musical gift for a lover.
there are several almost disconcertingly memorable songs – in fact, only about two that are not. the internal variation, aside from style and lyrical qualities, is surprisingly wide without being unreliable or annoying. i started this entire journey with a single from this album, beat of your drum, which is a great example.
it’s the first that i’ve actually thought that he would have shared this and other music with the woman he ended up marrying and procreating with. they’re probably past even caring about music, let alone sharing it. i don’t know if that saddens me, gives me a sense of schadenfreude or is plain and simple indifference.
back then, it definitely wasn’t any of them.
she’s got you hard a token kiss to hide a lie. a fallout its cold a re-run that you play all night. it’s over she’s gone. there’s nothing left for you to do. you’re lost not found.